"Human beings love to be miserable. They won't admit it, but it's true. For all their
talk of "the pursuit of happiness", they really wouldn't know what to do with it if
they found it. People crave vexation so much that even when they don't have
anything legitimate to get upset about, they will actually make shit up just so they
have an excuse to throw a hissy fit. The concept of the swear word is a prime
example of this manufactured aggravation.

A bad word. A curse word. A swear word. A malediction, malison, imprecation, denunciation, execration, anathema, proscription, commination, expletive, disparagement, vilification, or vituperation. Bad language, strong language, foul
language, colorful language, blue language, unparliamentary language, profane language, or harsh language. There's almost as many terms to describe these words as there are words themselves. But are these terms accurate? Is there
really something bad about certain words? Fuck no!

As children, we are usually introduced to the concept of a bad word because an
adult hits us or yells at us when we say one. "Don't say that! That's a bad word!",
*SMACK*! There's nothing like an open handed slap to the mouth to convince a
small child to adopt your point of view. Even when it's a view based on ignorance,
prejudice, and complete stupidity. Of course, the only thing this really teaches the
child is that you'll treat it like shit if it says any of these bad words. It doesn't
explain exactly WHY the word is bad, or exactly WHAT is bad about it. There's a
simple reason for this, and that is the fact that there is NO SUCH FUCKING
THING AS A BAD WORD!!!!!

First of all, a word is nothing more than a sound or a combination of sounds, or it's
representation in writing or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning. It's a fucking tool. Tools are a good thing. Is a hammer bad? How about a screwdriver? Sure, these tools could be used in a bad way. But even that is subjective territory. While you might consider it bad for me to jam a screwdriver into your eye socket, or smash your toes with a hammer, I might just as well find these activities to be a very good thing. But just because a tool may be used in a bad way doesn't make the screwdriver intrinsically bad. So why should a word be treated any different?

I've asked several people who believe in the myth of bad words to explain to me
exactly why the word is bad. It usually goes something like this:

Sickopath: But why is the word bad?
Brain Dead Moron: Because it is.
Sickopath: That's not a reason, that's a declaration. We have already
established the fact that you think it's a bad word, but what I'm asking you
to do is to explain to me why it's a bad word.
Brain Dead Moron: Because it is. I don't know why, it just is.
Sickopath: So what you're saying is that you can't tell me why it's bad, but
because you think, for reasons you admit you can't explain, that it is bad,
I'm just supposed to go along and believe something you can't even prove,
yet still insist is true? Jesus FUCKING Christ, what next, are you gonna try
and get me to believe in God? How about Santa Claus? Do you think he's
real too?
Brain Dead Moron: *blank expression*
Brain Dead Moron: *gears turning, minutes pass*
Brain Dead Moron: You mean Santa isn't real?

What is it about this concept that everyone seems to buy into? I still want to know
why the word is bad. Why, damn it, why!?!? Is the entire word bad, or just a small
part? You can say luck. You can say duck. You can say truck, suck, puck, or
muck. But you can't say fuck. Oh no, that's a bad word! You can say mitt. You
can say bit. You can say hit, wit, knit, or pit. But you can't say shit. Oh no, that's
a bad word! You can say punt. You can say runt. You can say aunt, bunt or hunt.
But you can't say cunt. Oh no, that's a bad word!

But where's the bad? It would seem that "uck", "it", and "unt" cannot be bad,
because all those other words that contain them aren't considered bad. And the
letters F, SH, and C cannot be bad either, since they are all used in numerous
other words that aren't considered bad. Maybe it's something similar to an
unfavorable chemical reaction. Perhaps mixing F with UCK is the literary equivalent
of mixing ammonia and bleach. And maybe mixing C and UNT is like letting the
red phosphate boil over in an amateur meth lab (the reactions of certain females to
whom I've directed that particular word have been quite similar to such an
occurrence). But it's not just the letters themselves, it's also the order they fall in.
Putting the F after the UCK would not be considered a bad word. Of course, you
might offend a few latin pigs if you added an AY after that...

If a word is truly bad, wouldn't it be really obvious? If you punch someone who
doesn't speak english, there is no doubt in their mind that something bad has just
happened. There's no room for debate, and nothing needs proving. Yet, if you say
fuck, shit, cunt, or asshole to someone who doesn't speak english, they won't have
any clue as to what just happened. If the word really was bad, shouldn't it be just
as obvious as the punch? Again, where's the bad? Where's the beef?

Why are certain words bad? There's really only one answer to that question.
Certain words are bad because a few people decided to set aside a select group of
words and say, "These words are bad!". There is no logic. There is no reason.
There is no point. It was a completely arbitrary decision. Had they chosen the word
ice instead of the word fuck, we'd all be putting fuck cubes in our summer drinks,
and people would scream "Ice You!" when pissed at someone. If you tried to
segregate a group of people using the same lack of reason you used to segregate
these words, you'd be called a racist and compared to Hitler. But now because the
Word Nazis won the war, the entire planet is expected to speak a certain way. I
say FUCK THAT!

Then you'll encounter people who say they aren't bothered by a little swearing, but
they hate it when people swear many times through out a conversation. "There's
really no need to use that much swearing, can't you use another word?". Strange,
but I've never heard these people call for a cut-back in the use of the words and,
the, a, is, an, I, it, & to. You'd think that if redundancy was really at the heart of
what was bugging them, they'd go after those words first, which are surely used
more often than any swear word.

But the stupidest prejudice held by people who believe in this nonsense is when
they tell you not to swear in front of children. Why not? Does hearing a swear word
stunt their growth? Does it cause cancer? Does it lower their I.Q.? What the fuck
does it matter if some fucking kid hears a fucking swear word? He didn't even know
what a swear word was until you told him about it. But like any good parent, you
won't be happy until every one of your fears and prejudices are instilled into your
kid before he starts pre-school. Little kids think swearing is funny because dumb
adults make such a big fucking deal about it. Stop it! The time has come to put
this silly custom to rest once and for all. With so many real things to worry about,
so much legitimate shit to get pissed at, there is no need for this concept to
continue for even one more day. Let us stop this unjust discrimination against
innocent words, and embrace them for the diversity they offer our language.

Let the myth die here."

"What's the big fucking deal?" -Eric Cartman

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